I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize