shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
