He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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