literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
