I'm eating all of the evidence.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
