But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
