It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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