i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize