are you still at the devil's house?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
