didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
