i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need moral support for this bender
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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