haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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