Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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