I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
