Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
