Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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