oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
