the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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