we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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