def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS