i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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