READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
His hands were made for my vagina.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
