1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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