I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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