but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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