Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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