the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
