So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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