i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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