I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
