Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
