Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize