11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
