Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize