He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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