When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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