It's Friday. Sex?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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