my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
