he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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