I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
