i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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