But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
