yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
