Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
