Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
bring money and cleavage
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm at about main and main street
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
