We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
