I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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