Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
