He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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