Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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