also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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