i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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