I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
