My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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