I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
