I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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