I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
