There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
